i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
