before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
