I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize