Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
