I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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