I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
