Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
