you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
