He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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