Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
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