So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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