try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
