New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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