another moral hangover. fuck.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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