You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
