Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
