I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I supernannyed him into submission
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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