he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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