woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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