did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
