is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The air taste purple.
Randomize
