I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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