Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
