Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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