Betty ford says i'm here all night
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
