Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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