Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
