Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My balls are so social today.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
