Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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