He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize