Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
