My pussy is not your playground.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
