think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize