yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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