I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
