one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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