I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
