Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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