a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
