Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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