We're facebook friends in real life
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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