new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
