quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
