Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
