She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
