Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
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You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
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If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I could fuck to npr.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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