Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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