He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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