so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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