so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
