did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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