Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
