do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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