I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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