I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
