they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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