things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We need to get me chipped asap
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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