I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
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Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
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Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
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