party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
