Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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